Showing posts with label personally evolving organism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personally evolving organism. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A Snowball's Chance

As were a pebble or a ball of ice

suspended on the precipice
the drop below would not suffice
to sway into or closer less
the wind would have Its way

As diving for its prey the raptor
so did our friend go forth
and though the wind, a careless captor,
thought nothing of his poor life's worth
fate and luck held sway

So early on the path was figured
and soon the slope did fall
and though it seemed at times configured
to hold him in its palm
the mountain had its say

Down yonder go thee! To the floor!
Down go thee all the way!
I shall hold back your fall no more
lest thou be content to stay
at rest upon my bosom.

So growing with the mountain's coat
of snow and leafy spoils
oft by hard rock was it smote
and slipped past as slicked by oils
of some savagery of nature

With each hard fall and sudden slam
his size did bulge and swelling
from pebble to a well fed ham
with gravity compelling
ever faster towards the bottom

Would think, perhaps, there would be times
when the path would clear for miles
yet though it seemed straight as these rhymes
did he crookedly down defiles
The trickster gods' own slalom

This is where I am now
This is where the story pauses
Halfway down the mountain, How?
With forced and sundry clauses.
My life begins to be mine.




Tuesday, February 22, 2011

am i am

i am far too far away from you

and you are closer than you know
than any other would care to come
to feel what is inside me
what calls me to be complete
without constraint of thought or fear

i am too far away from it
and yet it closes in
ever nearer to my head
to the holes in my heart
and my thoughts drifting
always back to it
the way of the world before tomorrow

i am too far gone from then
and still its hold upon me lingers
cloying as the muck of the swamp
to my clothes and skin and thoughts
avoidance is no option
and running in the sand a sham
an excuse to keep on breathing

i am so much closer now
to something I can believe is real
which is pulling me to its warmth
as if now were someone who could care
who would see me as I always have
in my head
in my dreams
in my fantasies of what might have been
had I lived a "normal" life

i am so much closer now
i hope i don't fall down too hard
i know how to rise
i don't know that i'll want to after this

or maybe I do
just maybe I still do

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

dawning brighter

I'm thinking on things I need to mend

old wounds I've kept open

developed skills which fail me now

passionate pleas which must always fall upon deaf ears

because they aren't aimed correctly

even though my accuracy is impeccable


I'm facing up to failures denied

belittled and bemused by my own apathy

have I fallen into disrepair and anguish

painful to behold and yet held up as mettle

it is emptiness embodied

it is loneliness entombed in light

the light which only shines forth dimly


I'm canceling my tickets to the ball

to the far flung reaches of imagination

where I've always known I'll never go

but, dreaming of it, have ignored the here and now

and passed on far too many small wonders

given up this chance or that

for some delusion held so dear

it drains my life of spirit


I'm putting out the weary fire

the flickering candle of despair

which has lit my way through life

for all these many years

though often I have dimmed its light

and hid the flame behind my back

as, knowing deep inside, I questioned its source

and begged myself to heed the truth

before the shadows swallowed me


whole

I am still

and forming

daily into more

of what I'm meant for


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

today

today is rough
I feel the panic seeping in
not like before
with the ways and means
I used to hide behind
underneath the netting
like covers pulled over a child's head
to keep away the bogeymen
from whom I run

today is slow
I wonder why it comes again
so like before
its creeping tendrils
telling me it's coming
I can't hide
don't bother, but I do
knowing nothing but the want
afraid that I won't run

today is long
it wanders like the crooked river
meanders to an end
nature's grades guiding to falls
just as she does for me
in infinite fractal branching
forging futures
fatalistic and magnanimous
where I might run

today is good
oh, I know it doesn't feel that way
not in these still desperate moments
not with the panic seeping
slowly out and away like the tides
away from the beach of solace
leaving behind the stench
of that from which, of course,
I cannot run

today I breathe
know that which I must clear away
with my own two hands
my back breaking
my head filling up
with aromas so inspiring
so despised by now
and desperate to be without them
do I run

today I would close down
except that I cry out
electronic silence the deepest sighs
soul all akimbo
liminal in some enchanted way
amassed of fortunes
under appreciated until recently
as panic began to wane
I glimpsed the place to run

today is good
tomorrow will be as well
and I will run no more
today is good

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

It Is Here

again I lie
it forces its way out through
my teeth

staring into
eyes of amber chocolate
beauty

so true this time
and again not everything
real

I am the wolf
who strives to be the white prince
of dreams

whose soft kisses
open her eyes to life worth
living

silly smile
locked in that way I can't help
feeling

these worn down fangs
promising everything She's
wanting

delivers us
into temptation's empty
belly

where both of us
wallow in our happiest
sorrow

it is here now
awakening to facts not
pleasant

reality
all of those sweet times brushed off
falling

onto my soul
where I will choose to believe
or won't

again I lie
wearing truth's better Sunday
clothing

still just rags
these grand imperial clothes
bare all

Thursday, January 17, 2008

tumult


Rantamble? How 'bout strollin'...
'round about and
far too much lollin'
but that's alright
may be should be
which is oh! so frequently
how it's done
anyhow

along I came
and there I go
succeeding
failing
what's to know
that I can't grasp when
times do come
until it's done
damn! it's done

so now to truth
and sense it so
the wind inside
it swirls slow
as longer
shorter
fuller now
I am again
what once
was how

but all of that
is not to say
that things once done
have gone the way
of dreams and potions
taking lightly
sweetly sipped
no longer nightly

pain escapes
and eases me
into the past
the futures be
all of my time
though wasted still

or what
what will ...

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

True . .

. . and False.
Whilst true that many lifelong habits - both those with which I'm good and those I'm still to kickin' - do hold prominence in my daily being, it is even more accurate to say that those habits from the first half have been built up or whittled away to form the background on the canvass which is the evolving critter that be me.

So, I totally get where dude was coming from. I just ain't locked down with it, eh.



By the way, clickin' the pic takes you to the same place that it does when clicking on it from the iGoogle home page. If you don't use it yourself, it's just one of dozens of distractors you can add to your own.

/unpaid-shill

Sunday, August 19, 2007

cogito ergo. . uhm... What?

Der Doctor is in Da House! Or he was on this topic back in his school daze 'tany rate, at which time he chose to take to task teh Science, as well as its more (IMO) obfuscatory opposite in the arena of Explanations, Religion. It seems that the good Dr. Zaius has a bit of a problem with how both of them utilize the Unknown as a source of their surety.

Hmmm... Perhaps a wee example is in order.

95% of what is around you is unobservable by any form of scientific instrumentation, according to science. Our model of the universe only accounts for 5% of what we can observe with any instrument known to man.

It is not a matter of some unseen force might be possible in your mind or imagination - it is a matter of some unseen force must exist, or science itself is talking through its hat.

This substance could be anything; we don't know what it is. This would mean that it is entirely possible that a vast portion of the universe may be made of large quantities of invisible Cheez Whiz - Or to use a phrase that might have a bit more irony, according to the Big Bang Theory, it is possible that at this moment that we are surrounded by "invisible pink unicorns."
Well, say I in my atheistical indignation. Poppeycock! Balderdash!! Gibbering Ginormities!!! You're misapprehending what it means to be seen! Science can undoubtedly be utilized to observe the unobservable. It just needs, for soothe, to utilize that most imaginative of unimaginary artifacts of existence; Mathematics. With numbers, which can never lie (though paradoxes might they multiply,) one, or any, and eventually many, an otherwise unobservant assayer of the modes and forms of empirical reality (errm, toi et moi, et al who would for that matter) may decipher and discern at both the most microscopic and creatively cosmic of levels that which is both true and sound and inevitably to be found to be the whole, wide, vast and sure expanse of All Reality.

We just ain't gonna do it before Tea*

And yet, I am just a softy. {sigh} There's little, . . hell, who am I trying to kid? . . There's no chance of me using said tool on my own. When it comes to math, I'm quite illiteratively, all thumbs. None the, others can, have, and will do so further in the future, and folks such as I are generally able to follow along. At least we are when given respect for our intellectual limitations, rather than the abusive utilization of those same which the Religionists must employ in order to survive despite their delusional, though often sublimely beautiful, drivel. That's simply part of the nature of teh Science. It takes Training, and dedication, but not even a scintilla of teh Faith is required. (Though, for folks in need, such a thing has inarguably proven helpful in getting us through some rather tight spots. Again, at least IMO.)

Whilst scientists, like Shamans and Witches and Priests (oh my!), are merely human and, thus, subject to each their own quirks of personality in the exposition of what they've experienced relativistically as individuals, the by laws of Science have evolved in gross opposition to the essential elements of Religion.

Religion says that no knowledge is new. Well, if it is, then it supports (somehow, don't know. we'll work that out later) the previous Gospels (Edicts, Prophecies, What have yous) which were laid down and set forth in the Past. If it contradicts what has been established, then it is wrong. (Even if we change our minds later, and forget to tell you, but instead just act like we'd always known and had said this all along.)

Science says that knowledge is available, if we, or any sentient beings, can develop the methods and tools necessary to ascertain it.

The most fundamentally hallowed proposition of Religion is that Truth® has been revealed in the past.

The most elementally important tenet of Science is there is always more to know.

Ahhh, well. As I commented on the good Dr. Zaius' site, "There is no God. Science doesn't say so. I do... " The ellipsistical is, as I hope I've established in this rather manic** rant, essentially unimportant. But if you got a kick out of reading my rejoinder to the Doc's post, then I highly recommend clicking on over to read this post's impetus.

And, regardless of disagreements, whether well-writ or poorly, I do gladly say "Thanks Doc!" for giving me blog fodder for a drizzly Sunday afternoon.

* Eh, I think I've a British reader or two left "in da house". (Alright. Enough of that phrase. Promise.)

** I used to be fairly certain of it when I'd say that I'm not manic-depressive. Just madly so. Que sera, sera, eh. I've always heard that the manic phase was, despites its desperate after-effects, a state of high creativity. Maybe assuming such proportions to my situation will help to me gettin' my lazy arse to writing more stuff and more frequently. Please, don't to be counting on it. Hmmm, or ag'in it, for that matter.

{-;

Saturday, August 11, 2007

I Keep Forgettin' . .

. . that I too have wings.


Especially when I get to feelin' as such.



Thanks to all y'all, my wings.

Enjoy!

Saturday, August 4, 2007

sin scan


i wish i had a mirror
a projector
a still life juxtaposer

not unreal
faked in electrons
drawn on ether

reality
shining forth
from within my head

when in rome
why don't the romans notice
its not important
anyway

it's just what I wish
what i want

but we've already established
that
that means nothing

at least not
so far

Sunday, April 1, 2007

. . wise hungry fool


Zen matters an a
'ssociative disorder
learning how to play

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Dante Shakespeare

I hope, therefore I am glad that I am.