Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Only Some Thing

So am I thinking 
and so getting nowhere 
I live in a past 
that I forget 
how important it is to forget 
over and over and again 
but it still happens 
only the one time 
only when I was young 
only with a child's mind 
only as a child 

So go the seconds 
without being paid heed 
they pile up high 
too high to climb 
but really they are for the gleaning 
over and over and again 
they havey all happened 
only the one time 
only when I was young 
only with a child's mind 
only as a child 

So flows my waking 
in circles still wider 
purple like bruises 
always I have earned 
or at least haven't fought to avoid 
over and over and again 
not just the one time 
not just when I was young 
only with a child's mind 
not just as a child 

So comes the future 
filled with the memory 
always the same thing 
as it happened that day 
pulling me back to that happening  
over and over and again 
only that one time 
just as when I was young 
just as with a child's mind 
only as a child 

This is personal. 
This happened to me. 
This happens to me each day. 
This is only some thing. 
Only what I need to overcome 
to be alive for a few more years. 
Biology. What the fuck...  

Thursday, June 22, 2017


It's just a small hole
a leak in the fabric of a night
 one word  of a kind
 one thought  dark mind

But it didn't need
 turn out that bad
So I simply hold on
Step back from time

It's only a short time
a peek into some younger mind
 one image  of a kind
 one thought  base mind

But it didn't need
 turn out that bad
So I simply hold on
Step back from time

Was just a brief glimpse
a leak in the fountain of the light
 one moment  of a kind
 one more  numb mind

But it didn't need
 turn out that bad
So I try to hold back this time
But it didn't need
 turn out that bad
So I fall again in kind

But it didn't need
 turn out that bad
So I simply pray to hold on
Step back again from time

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Trump the Dog 

silly spins the globe of us 
and painful sinks the stone 
lazy lifts the slopes and thus 
a people fall alone 

wander through the times of mind 
and cross the gulf of times 
again falls gently hard and gross 
abundant thoughts of stone 

chance the wild in search of peace 
and slaughter hearts seen not 
bereaved and false though true to self 
when tied in shadow owned 

asleep in torment lies the bird 
and embers dimmed glow 
a lonely spirit often held 
by all who lie below 

but Sun forever calls them out 
and moon their hopes does swell 
be causes meant for heres and nows 
so fair in dreamlike bloom

the fault lies open and it breaks 
for they aren't ones to turn 
against a tide which fear makes break 
upon its time to burn  

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

ever gonna make it

all I am is human 

even that seems way too much to bear 
all I am is breathing 
even though it's hard to keep at it 
all I want is something 
even though I can decide on what that may be 
all I want is nothing 
even as I keep on drawing one breath then the next 

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

g time

Instant fix
and goddam what took so fucking long?

Simple twist
but there's so much fucking more involved!

Open line
but you only want to hear me say what you want me to say

Just no time
and all I do is sit around wishing I was altogether different

Found some time
but if I don't take a nap I know I won't stay up for anything

One more time
just one more god damned fucking time and I'm just gonna fuck it up again so why the fuck am I wasting so much fucking time

i can't do it
I can d

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

it's shit and easy

it's shit easy
and easy as shit to get
the fuck out of
another's way

and I'm only taking
time to breathe
looks like everything else

perspectives give divisions
and I am so divided
from the smiles and stories
I observe

And yes it does happen.

Friday, August 16, 2013


am I not so
as is
as I want
time and something other
I held an image in my soul
I was an image of my soul
living and being
roiling full inside
other features seen
heard and felt
passed by and through

in thoughtless absorption
every tiniest spec of nothing
a splash in a void
and seeing nothing 
is ever what I get
time to get what is seen
and all that follows
every grief
ever formed
and joy prevalent
in time
so much more time
as I will give
for all
I can now ask

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

  • What's on your mind?

    Oldie but ... well this is new

    wonder of the world
    I'm fucked alive
    amber soaked I feel it
    holding me where I've been
    forever and ever
    life with an end
    just no shot
    at even one more
    I guess I have
    just to pay it forward
    hoping for a refund
    rejected for the hope
    and lost again
    in love and fear
    a new well of hells
    with smiles and sadness
    apropos of one time
    the first last and only
    eternity without a mullligan
    or any chance of heaven
    without hell all up inside it
    savory sensual swellings
    wonder of the world
    fucked and once forever
    and ever
    no more
    It'll have to do
    Like ·  · Unfollow Post ·  · Promote

Monday, June 10, 2013

thisness mine

whatever I'm saying
when I try to relate to you
unless a joke it's simple

it's seriously funny
that you look at me
at least you smile
and I see another thread to share

Just as I see it there
and I know you are aware
and I am so alone
words each leading off
other simplicities spun off 

all I want is a path
sensibility and music
a relay to the world larger 
of the way it is to me

I can take the looks
I just wish that I understood
or didn't as it hurts 
the reasons for suffering 

I think the same way
with the same chemicals
a stem no different from the forest
all the wood alive
except for me unrooted 

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

shadows' stains

impetuous fucking pricks 
sanitizing steel before the piercing 

why bother 

it's endless
at least as long as that 
but less invigorating

like a toothache 
the nerve laid bare and stabbing 
only torture gives me hope 


frankly I'm not into it
this oblique existentialism 
the rapture never thrilled me 

so why go on 

incidental to my whiny visions 
lapping waves keep calling from beyond the woods 
the shore 
its magnificence my one time friend
preaches patience from the distance 
even beyond reality's bounds the birds sing it to me 
enticing me to throw it all away 

the grief
and boredom
the pride 
and loathing of self 
historical accuracy erases opportunity 
all sent packing while the bliss of  self pity envelopes 
entrances and erodes my inner peace 
that which I run from to find 

I need to stop wondering how I ever got here 
and quite believing I'll ever leave 
as if it matters once you know it all 
and all of it is shit 
anyway, ain't it? 
the poseur's ennui
the fake fanaticism
luxury in scarcity and fear of going on 

like a heartache 
the third time gone again 
but there's no strike outs 

not in love 

I wonder why I always hit 'em 
over the fence on the first try 
unless I miss entirely 

still a loser 

everyone's a loser though 
I'm pretty sure I'll get over it again 
it's not like it's anything real this time 

just shadow's stains