Only Some Thing

So am I thinking 
and so getting nowhere 
I live in a past 
that I forget 
how important it is to forget 
over and over and again 
but it still happens 
only the one time 
only when I was young 
only with a child's mind 
only as a child 

So go the seconds 
without being paid heed 
they pile up high 
too high to climb 
but really they are for the gleaning 
over and over and again 
they havey all happened 
only the one time 
only when I was young 
only with a child's mind 
only as a child 

So flows my waking 
in circles still wider 
purple like bruises 
always I have earned 
or at least haven't fought to avoid 
over and over and again 
not just the one time 
not just when I was young 
only with a child's mind 
not just as a child 

So comes the future 
filled with the memory 
always the same thing 
as it happened that day 
pulling me back to that happening  
over and over and again 
only that one time 
just as when I was young 
just as with a child's mind 
only as a child 

This is personal. 
This happened to me. 
This happens to me each day. 
This is only some thing. 
Only what I need to overcome 
to be alive for a few more years. 
Biology. What the fuck...